Last Night

Prologue:
Kyle snores. Not a cute little snore that sometimes keeps me awake at night. Its a snore that my neighbors could probably hear. A snore that would rival the machinery destroying every rainforest around the world put together. I would put all the money I have into betting that he has the loudest snore and could be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Anyone who has ever stayed at our house knows what I am talking about. Lately, he has been taking these Snoretabs that have lessened his snoring to an acceptable decible.

Chapter 1:
Kyle forgot to take the snore tablets.

Chapter 2:
After Kyle falls asleep (immediately, I might add), I am up tossing and turning due to the ridiculously loud gorilla sleeping next to me. No amount of "kyle, you're snoring", "kyle, roll over"or "please stop snoring" made any difference. {By the way, notice the lower caps writing I used to indicate that I started out by whispering these simple requests. I want it on record that I at least tried to be nice.}
Then, as the snoring got louder and more horrendously annoying, I started pushing him and kicking him with my feet. There was also the occasional pinch and pulling of chest hair. This worked for a few minutes.

Chapter 3:
Kellen wakes up and comes to get in bed with us. I am sure she was woken up by the lumberjack but just didn't realize or else she wouldn't have picked our bed to get into.
Kyle is still snoring away, while Kellen and I are lying there. She is laughing, I am delirious.
I {loudly, this time} try to wake Kyle up and ask him to roll over.
He responds with a sleepy, "Huh?" and then hums in his sleep. Yes, I did say hums.

Chapter 4:
Jenna wakes up and comes to get in bed with us. She, too, I am sure was woken by the bulldozer, but her excuse is that she had a bad dream.
Kyle is still snoring and the three unfortunately awake people are very uncomfortable. This time I shove Kyle and yell at him to "STOP SNORING! NOW!" with a kick for emphasis. Again, he sleepily says, "Whaa" and then hums again. Its at this point I realize what he is humming. "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah". He is mocking me in his sleep.

Chapter 5:
I get up. I go into the Kingdom of Stuffed Animals, otherwise known as Kellen's bed. I sleep there. All night. Peacefully.

Epilogue:
Yes, Kyle is still alive, but I am very mad at him. I showed him how mad by not speaking to him for 15 minutes. I don't think he noticed.